into the new thing

Buffy Star Looks Beyond Television

Originally from Stepping Out Magazine 3.10.01

Interview by Chauncé Hayden

As Tara, girlfriend to Willow on UPN's recently acquired supernatural phenomenon "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Amber Benson, 23, has amassed a cult following. In addition to acting the role, she is also co-writing it via a Dark Horse comic book based on the two characters.
Not one to be pigeon-holed in a cult status, Benson has also developed an extensive and eclectic feature film resume. During her summer hiatus from Buffy, she was on location in Romania with co-star Nick Stahl filming the thriller "Taboo." Benson also wrote, financed, directed and starred in the film, "Chance."
Additional feature credits include "The Prime gig" with Vince Vaughn and Ed Harris which recently premiered at the Los Angeles Independent Film Festival, "Don's Plum" alongside Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire, "Imaginary Crimes" with Harvey Keitel," "Bye, Bye Love," "S.F.W." with Reese Witherspoon, "The Crush," and her film debut, Steven Soderbergh's acclaimed "King of the Hill."

Chauncé Hayden: Rumor has it there's going to be a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" musical episode.
Amber Benson: (Laughs) Oh yeah!

So the whole cast will be singing?
Everybody! Whether you can sing or not, you're singing!

Can you sing?
I can ... sort of!

I don't know how I feel about that. Is anybody worried that a Buffy musical could totally backfire?
It's insane over there! It's always been insane. There's no reality to what they do. We're all totally insane. It's just nuts!

The series is extremely popular all over the world. Yet it's never won an Emmy. Why is that?
I think anytime you deal with science fiction or something that is a little tongue-in-cheek, and then you add comedy to it, people who make those decisions won't be able to deal with it. They won't take you seriously. They would rather see somebody be beaten up on "NYPD Blue" for the fifty-thousandth time. Comedy is one of the hardest things you can do, and people who do it well are rarely recognized for their talents. If you can cry on cue or if you can play a retarded person, they want to give you an Academy Award. But if you pull off an amazing comic performance, they don't want to give you anything. They don't respect it. It takes a heck of a lot more talent to be funny than it does to cry on cue.

Has the attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon affected the mood of the cast?
We actually ended up raising a lot of money. Sarah Michelle Gellar is a whirlwind! She's been amazing! She's gotten so many people to donate money. She's raised so much money for those victims.

Many people seem to be looking at celebrities to see who's doing what to raise money. Is that fair?
My feeling is, if you don't use your celebrity status to do something, then it's bullshit. I don't really give a shit what people think of me. But, I can use what I have in life to help people. And if I can help people, then that's wonderful! If you don't use what you have to better this world, then it's a big mistake. I mean, we're not doing brain surgery on Buffy, but if people can watch us and laugh and not think about the horrible things that have been happening for a couple of hours, then we've done a good thing.

Do you worry about germ warfare and what may lie ahead?
Well there's really not much you can do about it, but I will tell you that I was the first one on the CDC Web site looking up Anthrax! (Laughs) I was checking all that stuff out!

After you get past the threat of world destruction, can you appreciate how much your success on Buffy has changed your life?
Well now I have people actually following me to the grocery store! I was actually in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and this young couple started following me around! They finally came up to me and said how much they love Buffy. People are just really, really into the show.

Do you get a lot of fan mail?
I get letters from every country that you can imagine.

Is that overwhelming?
Oh my gosh, yeah! It was really overwhelming at first. But now it's kind of become a part of life. I've gotten used to it. But at first I thought, I can't do this! I can't be an actor because what I do makes an impact all over the world!

Be careful what you wish for.
I knew what I was getting into. It's not like I want people to leave me alone or like I need my privacy. Any actor who says "Oh, my life is horrible because everyone is following me around and I have no privacy!" is full of crap! You knew what you were getting into! You knew! If you make it, this is what happens! If you're Brad Pitt, people are going to chase you around! If you're Madonna, people are going to show up at your house!

The character you play on Buffy [Tara] is a lesbian. Do you get the same type of attention from the lesbian community as Lucy Lawless does for Xena?
(Laughs) I get the most amazing letters from young women. Many women write me and tell me that they feel it's okay to be gay just from watching my character on television. A lot of women like that Tara is shy and that she stutters and she's not the skinniest person in the world, and yet she can still find somebody. So maybe they can find somebody. Those are the best letters.

So you feel like a role model to young lesbian women?
Yeah, I do. And I was worried about it. I talked to a lot of my gay friends and they told me not to worry about it. Just be a real person. Your sexual preference doesn't change who you are.

Do you find that there's a perception from your fans that you may be gay just because you play a gay character?
I get a lot of letters that say "If you decide you like girls, I think you're wonderful!" But they know that I'm straight. I'm not going to lie. If you ask me what my preference is, I'm going to tell you I like guys.

Would you be open to experimenting?
If I met a woman who was amazing, that's a different thing entirely. You never know! I'm open to whatever comes. But right now I like guys.

Just stay away from Melissa Etheridge.
(Laughs) Yeah, she seems to have a way of turning you to the other side!

Do you get any negative letters from conservative groups who aren't thrilled with the whole lesbian thing?
I've only gotten a few. But I look at it this way: people don't want me to go to hell, so they're trying to be helpful and bring me back to the flock. I can't look at it any other way or I get upset.

Is it true you don't have a driver's license?
Yes.

How do you get around?
Very well, actually! Thank you for asking. I've actually made appointments to go get my license, but Buffy keeps hindering me. They keep promising me a day off, then they take it away from me! Actually, I'm really lucky because I live with my mother and she's a saint. She's my best friend and she drops me off and picks me up!

You still live with your mom? You're starring on a hit TV show. Shouldn't you be living in a big mansion somewhere in Beverly Hills?
I'm okay, but nobody makes a lot of money on Buffy. We all do it for free, actually. It's a labor of love. Did someone tell you we get paid? Sarah, especially! She pays them to be there!

I heard that when Buffy switched over from the WB Network to UPN that the people at UPN bought the whole cast lavish gifts. True or false?
Well I chose not to be a series regular, so I don't get the gifts or the big salary. But I also have the ability to go out and do movies in the middle of the season, which is really nice. If you give your heart and soul to Buffy, then you give your heart and soul to Buffy. But I didn't want to be in that place because my real love is film.

So you're not really into television?
No, in fact I wouldn't have done television except that Buffy is such a cool show. You have to decide what you want in this life and I'm glad to be a part of Buffy, but I also have to be able to do other things. Life is short and I'd rather be sitting in the poor house and doing what I love doing then making a lot of money and being miserable. Life is very short.

You've done the Buffy convention circuit. What is that like?
(Laughs) Yeah, that's interesting. I've done a few of them, but I'm taking a break from the conventions. I really burned myself out doing a whirlwind tour of England and Scotland when I was there this summer. It was very intense. It was way too much. I overdid it. It was just insane!

Not to change the subject, but have you dated any Hollywood stars lately?
There's just so much more to life, and that's so not important to me. I don't really care about some hot Hollywood guy harassing me at some stupid party. It used to be so exciting. I would go to party and some famous guy would hit on me and it would be so big a deal. It used to mean something. But now I just want to do good work. And going out and getting drunk every night totally inhibits you from doing anything because you have a hangover the next day! And I'm no good when I have a hangover!

Aren't you friends with Leonardo DiCaprio?
I worked with Leo and Tobey [Maguire] and that group. But with them, it's very much a boy's club. If you're a girl, you don't really hang out with them. They're fine, they're what they are. They're the guys and they like to do guy things and they like to date models. That's the extent of their social life.

Stay away from actors.
Oh yeah, I've learned. Been there, done that!

Is it true you have trouble kissing on camera?
It's not that I'm uncomfortable. I just start laughing! I can't help it! I'm fine on my own with some guy. But put me in front of 50 staring people and someone starts barking orders, I just start laughing. They just harass the crap out of me! But it's fun and the crew loves it.

How important is it for an actress to get a layout in either Stuff, Maxim, or FHM magazines?
(Laughs) I'm doing a photo layout for Stuff on Saturday! Hey, I'm a big prude and I don't want to wear anything really revealing, but you really do need to do it and that's sad. It's really sad that young actresses have to feel like you need to wear no clothes to get noticed. And what's sicker is that Hollywood encourages it. "Oh, she was on the cover of Maxim! So that means she's hot! And so if she's in my movie, people will come see it!"

But yet you're doing Stuff?
Listen, I'm on a TV show. I'm not a sexpot or a model. So whatever publicity I can get is pretty much what I do these days. But if they want me to do something I'm not comfortable with, then I'm going to say "Screw you and f-k off!" I'm not a size 0. I'm a size 6 or even an 8 on a bad day. (Laughs) You don't want to see me in a thong!

I take it you're not happy with your body?
I'm happy to have boobs and hips and be a normal size person. I've seen way too many people that I know go to the hospital because they can't eat. They feel they have to be this skinny thing! I'm very happy with my body. I'm not fat. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But it's hard when you're in this industry and you're expected to look like a string bean. "You would have gotten that part if you were 20 pounds less." What do you want me to do, cut my head off? It's just not healthy. I like to eat and I'm not going to stop eating because some jerk says I need to in order to get a part. There's always going to be somebody out there who doesn't like you. That's just how it is
.
Okay, last question. What advice would you give to someone who gets their brains sucked out?
Um ... eat a lot of apple sauce, preferably fed to you by attractive young lesbians.